is it illegal if 2 consenting adults to send naked pics to each other

[lisafloyd6]

My name is Lisa and i have been seeing this guy for a while and he texted me asking for naked pics and i sent them we are both 27 years old and since i told him i wouldnt send him anymore he got mad and said he was gonna have charges pressed against me for sexual harrasment i was just wondering can he do that cause we both consented plus he promised to delete them and he didnt everytime he gets mad at me he tells me hes gonna do it and get my son taken away from me and he would tell me i was going to jail and i would have to register as a sex offender can he do that cause i wanna leave him and im scared of him and what he might do

[lisafloyd6]

i mean i looked it up and it said it wasnt illegal if we both consented im scared and confused

[thorax232]

You're fine. If he thinks he can present the picture on his cell phone while having deleted his text messages through that date and not expect you to present your phone as evidence, he's an idiot. And might land himself in jail for I don't know...threatening and harassing you.

And of course I gotta' recommend my favorite book: Boundaries: When To Say Yes, When To Say No, To Take Control Of Your Life
It's got TONS of valuable stuff in it.

-Don't forget to follow up and tell us how it goes. Good luck!

[lisafloyd6]

i told him that he couldnt do that and that since it was consensual that he couldnt press charges against me he even called me and three wayed the anderson county sherrifs department and asked them and they told him to bring his phone in and he has a contract with at&t but i have a prepaid phone so i had to delete alot of texts because i couldnt hold them all idk what to do he has me so scared cause he is saying that i will lose my son and my daughter who i am already in a legal battle over with my ex mother in law and he said he would come to my court date and expose those pics to the judge and also have 9 felonies against me for sexual harrassment and illegal use of a telephone is he gonna be able to do that i mean i talked to a few people now is what he doing u know threatining me and stuff could that be blackmail and he calls alot when he tells me that we are done and he was gonna expose the pics then he wants to call and be all nice and say he was just playing im really scared to involve the police because i am scared of what he might do

[thorax232]

Find something that can record all your phone calls, I'm sure you can find something on Google for that. And in case you're wondering it IS legal to that in South Carolina without asking permission from the person you're recording. Take pictures of your texts with a digital camera or something. Basically find any way to have a record of everything. And act tough! Don't let 'em push you around and think he can do anything he wants. The guys got some major boundary issues.
But again, I honestly think your fine, I think his only real goal is to scare you, and it's working. Don't let your fear get the best of you.

And make sure to keep us updated on this.

[thorax232]

I found two good looking phone recorders:

This one on Amazon, it's a RadioShack brand so maybe you can get it locally.

And this website, which looks to be kind of expensive.

[lisafloyd6]

well what if he does and nothing comes of it it can still ruin me right but when he threewayed the deputy he told him he dealt with this before and the chick got three years but he never told me to stop sending them but for some odd reason he hasnt asked for anymore today but im afraid he will and if i say no he will do what he said he would do i think im gonna have to talk to a police officer to find out i need to tell them everything the whole story but im afraid im gonna hang myself by going to the police cause i threatened him about blackmailing me and he said i had no proof but i may actually get in trouble for what i did i mean my family has no idea i did this but a few friends do and they tell me that he is bluffing and its legal if he asks for them and he dosent tell me to stop

[thorax232]

Blah, blah, blah, what if, what if, what if. You really need to read that book. This is a classic compliant vs. controller. I'm guessing, and I don't mean to make assumptions feel free to correct me, but I'm guessing as a child your parents simply told you to simply do as your told, no questions asked, they never really explained anything or told you why, as long as you obeyed. Well, stop doing that and take charge already, you're all grown up. I'll give you a preview of the book: Instead of fearing people's feelings, abandonment and separateness, wishing to be dependent on somebody else, fearing others anger, their punishment, being shamed, being seen as bad or selfish, being 'unspiritual' or fearing one's overstrict, critical conscience it's better to simply say NO. Or I disagree, I will not, I choose not to, Stop that, It hurts, It's wrong, That's bad, I don't like it when you touch me there, etc..

[lisafloyd6]

thanx im also thinking of involving the police in this matter

[thorax232]

Seems like a good idea to me. Get back to us with the results of your decision.

[lisafloyd6]

well i got the police involved and man he was pissed he blew up my phone all day leaving nasty threatining text and voicemail messages and i saved them all i filed a report against him and the police officer actually called him and told him to leave me alone so im done with that issue i feel so free

[thorax232]

Hey! Congratulations! Feels good to take charge right?

[mamaguru]

HERE'S THE DEAL ....

1. If you have erased the consenting/requesting texts from this lying sob, his carrier should have them even if he deleted them in his phone which means if he initiates any legal action, you have a right to subpoena them to prove he's lying AND though the content is erased the TIME and DATE will not be in his phone records and if those correspond to your sending the pics, that is more evidence that he is lying

2. Does this creep have buddies in the sheriff's office? That is the ONLY way i can see cops giving a ---- about this or be willing to record a conversation without a warrant (though the law does not require it)

3. What exactly is this a---hole recording in a phone conversation? What bad thing did or would you say? You btw do NOT have to talk to anyone even cops without a warrant or court order and NEVER by phone

4. NEVER talk to this guy again on the phone or respond further to him other than to text once, don't contact me ever again and you are lying, i can prove it, filing a false report is a serious crime - HE is harassing you, shut it down, do NOT continue to dialogue with this freak

5. FILING A FALSE REPORT IS A SERIOUS CRIME - for which he can be prosecuted and jailed. GOOGLE it in your city/state.

6. Adults sext. That is what they do when dating is at issue. Has NOTHING TO DO with your custody case nor your parenting of your child, period. Adultury cannot even be taken as a factor in custody. NOTHING this creep has from a pre-paid number should be admitted into any custody proceedings. He has NO RIGHT to show those pics to anyone, I believe, as they were intended for him. I can only see this having traction if he has buddies in the sheriff's office, in which case as long as you just stick to the truth that this guy is lying and was requesting pics from you, and you have a right to records to prove it, you are fine.

7. AND ALSO REMEMBER, where did you register for the phone? Is your FACE in the pics???? CAN HE PROVE IT IS YOU IN THOSE PICS AND ALSO THAT YOU OWN THE PHONE? If your face is not in the pics and you haven't talked to him on the phone AND you haven't used that number anywhere else, he cannot prove it is you. IF YOU HAVE, well, he's a lying pig anyway.

8. IS THIS JACKA---- IN COLLUSION WITH YOUR EX AND HIS LAWYER??? COULD THIS ALL BE A SET UP TO GET CUSTODY FROM YOU OR SCARE YOU INTO LETTING IT GO??? YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO ASK IN AND OUT OF COURT AND DEMAND PHONE AND INTERNET RECORDS RE WHETHER THIS CREEP HAD BEEN IN CONTACT IWTH YOUR EX OR HIS LAWYER AT ANY TIME.

Bottom line - If this guy did request the pics, the time and date and probably content of the texts are accessible to you to prove your innocence and his guilt in filing a false report ag you, obstruction of justice, lying to police, all kinds of nasty stuff..... he has to PROVE that he did NOT request them since the date and times of the texts will correspond with the pics and he cannot, so he's got nothing on you in this wicked attempt as long as you stand up for your rights to those records and who he has been in contact with this whole time. Re the custody, he has no right to present those pics to anyone and his lying to the court there by falsely accusing you is also a crime. If the men at the cops won't help you, find a WOMAN detective in the sex crimes unit to help you. AND, IN THE CUSTODY CASE, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SUBPOENA HIS PHONE RECORDS THERE, PERIOD. IF HE ACCUSES YOU, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THOSE RECORDS, PERIOD. ASAP. LOOK UP 2012 SUBPOENAS IN YOUR CITY/STATE HOW TO WRITE, and don't worry just include the basics and show you know how to do it to let this creep know you'll fight back.

I'm so so sorry - this sounds as if it may be a coordinated thing bet this guy and your ex, maybe even preplanned all along.

DONT EVER SEXT SOMEONE YOU HAVEN'T DATED AND NEVER SEND YOUR FACE OR GENITALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mamaguru]

PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!! THIS GUY SOUNDS DANGEROUS. TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD EITHER MOVE AND CHANGE MY JOB, NUMBER, AND GET A COURT ORDER TO EITHER CHANGE YOUR NAME OR HIDE YOUR INFO FROM PUBLIC SEARCHES BASED ON THIS GUYS THREATS, OR DO ALL YOU CAN TO BE LAWFULLY PREPARED TO DEFEND YOURSELF AG THIS GUY. GOD BLESS AND BE CAUTIOUS. DO NOT STOKE THIS GUY, DO NOT RESPOND TO HIM. EXCEPT TO SAY, YOU DON'T WANT PROBLEMS, JUST TO MOVE ON, BUT NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN.

[thorax232]

PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!! THIS GUY SOUNDS DANGEROUS. TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD EITHER MOVE AND CHANGE MY JOB, NUMBER, AND GET A COURT ORDER TO EITHER CHANGE YOUR NAME OR HIDE YOUR INFO FROM PUBLIC SEARCHES BASED ON THIS GUYS THREATS, OR DO ALL YOU CAN TO BE LAWFULLY PREPARED TO DEFEND YOURSELF AG THIS GUY. GOD BLESS AND BE CAUTIOUS. DO NOT STOKE THIS GUY, DO NOT RESPOND TO HIM. EXCEPT TO SAY, YOU DON'T WANT PROBLEMS, JUST TO MOVE ON, BUT NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN.

Wow, first of all calm down on the caps lock. You don't have to yell on the internet, people read, volume isn't an issue. ...It's like yelling at someone who doesn't know English, you're insulting the person you're talking to and making yourself look like a "JACKA----".

Second, no person ever needs to give up their livelihood, involuntarily for the sake of another. Plus the issue seems to be solved anyways... Move and change her job? Are you serious? Do know how big of a deal that is? Harassment may be a serious issue but something like does not warrant running away.

And I'm not only complaining about your second post but half of your first too, it's just so uncalled for. This issue may be personal to you, but that doesn't warrant YELLING ORDERS, that MUST be done, or making assumptions about people you don't know, especially without giving room for correction.